Monday, June 29, 2009

I Feel So Special!

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The lovely Jasmine over at Haha-You nominated Kabuki Queen Interesting Blog Award!

It's our very first award so I thought I'd grace everyone with an acceptance speech:

First of I'd like to thank God...without Him this blog would be...nothing. To our loyal 33 all are the best I've ever had! Thanks for loving every random post, rant etc...I gotta get out what's going on in my brain somehow lol. Okay I'll get off the soapbox after this last one thing........I LOVE YOU MJ!

Okay I'm done.

Oh! And I'm also supposed to nominate another blog and I chose.......

Almost Famous...Ya'll always have great posts that keep me entertained.

Healthy Kisses...Nikki you always have health info we all need to know.

Naturally Yan Tan
...Because I'm definitely finding your hair journey interesting as I'm transitioning also.

And don't forget the rules:

1. Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award and his/her blog link.

2. Pass the award to other blogs that you've newly discovered. Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

Thanks again Jasmine!

Thursday, June 25, 2009

I Just Can't...

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I don't even know what to say other than that is man was awesome despite any of his personal battles. May God rest his soul and let his music continue to play forever and influence the lives of everyone he touched.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

pass the courvoisier

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hated the song, but would love to taste the drank one of these good days. i know the iphone has a drink menu application that lists all the drinks and how to make them. now, i'm not an alcoholic or anything, far from it...but i do like a good cocktail every now and again. any suggestions for the next time i'm in the mood to sip? pinkies up!

Rainy Dayz

"its just those rainy dayz, you spend a lifetime trying to wash away, until the sun comes out and shines again, smile at me, smile for me..."

where are my spring babies at?! i absolutely love the rain (when i haven't just gotten my $60 'do done, of course). to be able to nap in a house that is 84 degrees without discomfort deserves a def shout-out. the rain gave me a well-needed boost, even though the nap was only 15 minutes!

how about you? any afternoon nappers out there??

She's back!

i know i've been ghost, but thx so much for all of you supporting the efforts of my divalicious partner in the game...fab e! you all have truly been a blessing.

just to share a little of what's held my attention for the past eon: been seeing this new older guy that i've been crushing on. does anyone feel me when i say he was all types of wrong for me, but i pursued it anyway...leaving myself emotionally drained and psychologically stressed. i was dealing with some insecurities about being younger and less experienced, but as time will have it we are working through our issues and taking it one day at a time. i tried not to bash the whole male population on this post, which is why it took me so long to get on here (shout out to our male followers).

i'll leave you with a few words of wisdom, though: not all men are dogs; cherish the ones that treat you as the queen you are and leave the doggish-ness by the garage for trash day. love to all ;)

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Sweet Jesus!

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Oh em gee!

30 followers now??

I just had to post and say MUCHAS GRACIAS! I'm so like....ah! It's wonderful! And God is so good to have this blog really take off. Ya'll don't know this blog is my baby and it means so much to me and ya'll mean everything to me! I feel tears coming....

No I'm just playing but I'm so grateful so special thanks again to those who have been following and our new followers...welcome KabQ's!

Who Is.....?

Now the following post is totally no homo.

With that being said I freakin’ love Jill Scott.

I got a girl crush…so what, the chick is fierce!

Her music is just…bananas. So poetic, so emotional, so real.

So as I’m still contemplating my Man of the Moment for the week, I’ll leave you with my Kabuki Queen of the Moment, and my female boo!

And have you seen The No.1 Ladies Detective Agency on HBO?

If you haven’t your clearly sleeping.

Oh yes and I do want her hair….

If my soon-to-be natural can look that good…I’m good!

She’s just so refreshing. Loves it!

Surprise Surprise

So I logged onto Blogger this morning to see that we have 6 new followers! I'm geeked!

So hello, hey there, hi there to our 6 new followers, you are so appreciated. And a special special thanks to K. Michel Press who gave all of his followers a chance to put their blogs on blast so everyone can connect, make sure you check the post out and check out his blog K.Michel Press.

More posts coming through the day...

Monday, June 22, 2009

Some Like It Hot

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....I on the other hand like the temperature to be moderate…give me 75-79 degrees. But since the first day of summer was yesterday I’ll have to find that moderate weather next Spring. Oh how I’ll miss you.

But I can’t hate too much on summer, summer gives me days full of sundresses, outside dining, warm late nights, and plethora men coming out the woodwork (well there aren’t too many choices in St. Louis but once in awhile there’s a few decent ones). It’s all fun in the sun.

And with the summer heat I ALWAYS need to cheap finds to keep me cool. Thanks where my friend Forever 21 comes in. Some people bad mouth Forever but I can’t…we’re in a recession and I still gotta look fierce…don’t hate!

Tiered Fiesta Dress$24.80

Nadina Sundress $19.80

H81 Bold Stripes Sundress $22.90

Lathika Chiffon Tube Dress $22.80

Dayana Print Dress w/ Belt $22.80


I think it’s well known around these parts that I absolutely cannot stand Monday’s. I hope Monday’s die a slow death because that’s what they do to me! Every Monday morning I wake up to a beautiful sun shining in my room yes I thank God for life and the light he gives in my room but then can I enjoy it in peace? No, because I got this mechanical device that makes an annoying noise that makes me get up to turn it off. I don’t like it…not one bit.

So as I got up out of bed I told myself to wake up, not just to be alert to the new day that was ahead of me but to really WAKE UP!

Wake up to the fact that I was put on this earth for a reason.

Wake up to know that there are people truly in my corner that want to see me prosper.

Wake up to know that I am fearfully and wonderfully made by a God that I serve that blesses me every minute of everyday.

Wake up to the fact that I am beautiful, that I am fabulous and I don’t have to hold back for anyone.

Wake up to know that fear is not real and will not get in the way of my future goals.

Wake up to realize that anything is possible through God.

Wake up to know that some people are in my life just for a season and that it’s okay to let them go.

Wake up to know that I deserve the best.

Wake up to realize that I cannot and will not settle for less.

Yes this all came to me this morning. For awhile I have put people and their feelings before mine. So much that mine got lost in the process, but I’m taking it back…all of it. It’s time to focus just on me and what makes me happy and for most of all not to fear anything or anyone but God.

And with that…my Monday isn’t so bad after all.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

One Blooming Rose

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Now I’ve had my opinions about Ms. Amber Rose *cough:sleeping with celebs to get ahead:cough*. But while over at Young, Black & Fabulous I happened to stumble upon a lookbook Amber did for EModa. And in all honesty…this girl is gorgeous.

Get it how you live girl…Kanye and all.

We Get The Job Done Around Here

One of the interns at my job decided he needed a break on our office floor.

Hard work at its best.

Celebrity Twitter=Celebrity Soapbox

Okay pretty much by now everyone has a Twitter for the exception of a few of my friends who will never succumb to the fad. What’s making Twitter that much more interesting to us common folk is that we can follow the lives of our favorite celebrities to keep track of their day to day activities. Now with Twitter I’m all for celebrities or anyone promoting for albums etc.…hey you gotta get the info out somehow right? But what I don’t understand is why celebs are constantly using Twitter to start beef or give their ‘woe is me’ tale to stir up a few rumors. For instance, we all remember Tila Tequila, after the show (I couldn’t stand the show at all) I could have cared less about what she was up to. But she started this mess about her being preggers and Ray-J being the father…I was like for real? Who cares!! And don’t get me started on the mess Yung Joc was talking about with the whole Kat Williams and DMX drug soirée. But then I take a step back to look at the big picture. These people gotta keep their names out somehow…but do they have to be so annoying?

Every time I seem to check Twitter celebs are giving nothing but nonsense that makes me want to unfollow some of them. Hell, I’m not even on Twitter that much as is…but still feel free to follow me when I do remember to actually update ( I promise my updates won’t be lame. However I will give kudos to the celebs who always have positive updates and things that make you go hmmm…like Dawn from Danity Kane and Lauren London.

So for those of you who do have Twitters do you ever respond to your fav celebs? Honestly I haven’t I figure they really aren’t looking anyway but hey maybe if the fineness that is Trey Songz really gets my attention I may have to drop him a line.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


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That's all I can say about this video clip. BET...I thought we we're trying to rise up as a clearly keep bringing us down with coonery (yes I said coonery) like this. This gets all the side-eye action.

Wednesday's Lesson For The Day

Don't take a nap during your lunch break when it's 90 degrees outside.


Because you won't get up and you'll end up pissed for two reasons. One, because you slept past your lunch break which results in coming back late to the office and two, because you actually had to get up.


I've had the most lethargic, slow day ever. When it was 10:30am I swore that it was already 12noon. Jokes on me. But on the real I would have more posts for today but the signals from my brain to my hands in order for me to type seem to be off.

You should see the effort I'm putting in to type this now. But on the real I won't leave you guys hanging tomorrow. If you guys can take a afternoon nap...catch a couple zzz's for your girl.

You Cuz or Blood?

I'm definitely neither but this apple I was just about to eat is a Crip...a Cripps Pink to be exact. Must be a new clique.

Rep yo' set!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Tuesday Rants

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It's only Tuesday!!

Ugh. I'm so ready for this week to be over. My weave is extra tight to the point where it pulls when I bend my head down...I just want relief! I still love my hair though. Overall life is good. I'm single again and it's sort of weird not having that person to talk to every night but I'm handling it pretty well...more me time...that's always a plus AND time to work on Kabuki Queen and you know thats good!

I don't have any real post for today, my boss came back to work and I'm playing catch up with her and had a job interview today (fingers crossed), so I've just been replying to responses and checking out everyone else's blogs.

Oh and we have 19 followers now! Ya'll really don't know how grateful I am! You all leave great comments too so keep them coming! Shout out to Nikki (Ms. Healthy Kisses) and K*Mack (Soliloquies of a Thespian) for the blog design referrals...I didn't know what I was going to do.And better believe I'm reading your blogs too...that's all I do at work! LOL.

That's all the rant I have for today...I'll try to post more tonight!

Monday, June 15, 2009

Can We Focus....

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On the sexiness that is Trey Songz in this picture??

I just had to share :)

We Need You!

Kabuki Queen needs you bad!

So I'm not the most tech savvy person especially when it comes to graphic designs. I'm really wanting to step up KabQ's look and I need a graphic designer or a reference to a site that makes blog layouts and banners.

So if anyone can help us out it'll will be more than appreciated!

I'm A Dirty Brownie

At least that's what my co-worker called my hair color...anyways here's pics of the new hair!

Ya like? I'll make sure to get a better picture of the color with the digital. And I just noticed that I didn't smile in any of these lol...I guess I was going more of a sexy scowl...rrarh! LOL.
I can assume change is in the hair...newly single...and working on new body...wonder what's next? The things that make you go hmmm....

Rainy Days Go Away!

So so sorry for the lack of updates the past few days. I’ve been holding down the HR office while my supervisor has been out sick. Plus I’ve been spending most of my internet time on Black Hair Media. Have you checked it out? It’s awesome! I keep learning more and more about taking better care of my hair annnddd I got a new hairstyle! I weaved it back up again just simple sleek and straight but a lighter color, finally! You don’t know how bad I’ve wanted to have some type of color in my hair.

But once again I got a bad case of the Monday’s and it doesn’t help at all that the forecast in STL is nothing but rain…dark, gloomy rain.

What I wouldn’t give to be back in my bed. *Pondering taking a half sick day…..*

And lastly I must say that I enjoy reading each and every comment ya’ll leave it makes doing this so worth it….ya’ll are the f*@&in’ best!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Lucky Number 17

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One thing about me is that 17 is my favorite number...probably because I was born on the 17th but I'm so excited because we have 17 followers now! Once again thank you thank you for continuing to read and support Kabuki Queen...we do it for ya'll!


Man these 100 cal snacks are on! Who knows what I'm talking about?

I just came back in town from the South and definitely got it crackin on the food tip (e.g., greens, macaroni, cornbread, biscuits and gravy, chicken, fried green tomatoes, green beans, ribs, okra, cabbage, spaghetti, etc. you get the picture). So, upon my return I was definitely trying to figure out how to lose all this weight I just picked up (over the course of a week). I went to Target yesterday and though it was not Super Target, they still had food and liquor selections that I went to check out. The liquor part is for another day, but the food selections caught my eye. They have a whole section of 100 cal snacks and half of them were on sale. While I'm trying to lose weight I am also trying to be a better steward of my funds, so as you can imagine, I hit the jackpot! I racked up on 3 things: peanut butter and chocolate granola bars for breakfast (110 cals), Cheez-its for a class snack, and Nutty bars for that after meal sweetness.

Not only are they good, but they provide awareness as to how much the American public actually eats. Usually we're into getting the most for our money so we super-size everything, which tempts us to finish it all so as not to be wasteful. When you buy smaller portions you condition your body to eat less, and eating less equals healthier people. Now, I do drink 2-3 Capri Suns daily, but I drink about double the water and take the stairs (in stilettos) instead of the elevator to get my daily workout on my days off of dance class. Most think that it costs more to eat better, but if you become a bargain shopper, you'll learn to only buy foods (healthy) that are on sale.

No more excuses, we must do better.

A Love Jones...Of Some Sort

Lately I haven't been writing poetry like I used to, but with different things going on the only way I knew to express it was through words. So I hope you enjoy my random fab thoughts.....


i never claim to know it all
to yell that your about to fall
to tell you to veer to the right rather than steer to the left
to let you know whats best
for you
but me
i know me
maybe not what’s in my destiny or in the stars
to know when its my venus, pluto or mars
cause I never got with that astrology crap
and perhaps I never will
because no book, card or palm could ever trace
what a smile you could bring to my face
to hurry my pace
so my eyes can meet with a gaze
that burns in my mind for days
with thoughts of you and the things you do to me
that have me thinking this has become my reality
not quite the vision that I dreamed
the knight and shining armor coming to get his queen
it was more like the boy who decided they were too old for toys
and picked up the shiny piece of gold
that he got to hold
never to let go
a treasure to him and all the world to see
to tell the world that he would rather have me
and I’d rather have him
agree, disagree, opinions don’t matter
advice can do so much
but I can tell me and only me
what brings the joy from my head to my feet
because this is only the wisdom of a woman who knows
who she would rather hold

© afabthought

No Sleep=Writer's Block

I'm seriously struggling this morning. With only a few hours of sleep I'm barely functioning at my desk with me continuing to nod-off. And with that I just can't seem to muster up a post except the one I'm writing now.


Okay...I won't leave ya'll hanging today. So I will be back momentarily while I go hit up this coffee machine. It better work it's wonders.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Flashing Lights....

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I'll be brief: this morning I had dance class, thus, I threw on some nothings (e.g., brown gauchos and a lavender beater with brown and orange flops) and went on about my business with all intentions of wearing this to work with a cover up and some open-toes. However, my boss saw me today during my dance break, therefore leaving me one of two options: a.) go home and change clothes after class (even though I only have 3 fits left to wear for the rest of the week) b.) wear what I have on and jazz it up. Needless to say, I went for the second choice (being the creative fashionista that I truly am). In the line of fashion you always have to be ready to make lounge wear into fab wear. Trust me, I turned it out. I didn't think I could pull it off but I went out on a limb and added a cream linen trench with brown buttons, exchanged the cream belt that came with the jacket for a brown leather belt, did not button any of the buttons, but simply tied the jacket with the belt and went on about my biz. I threw on a mustard beanie and some brown and cream houndstooth open-toes and got it crackin. Since I didn't have my pearls in, I nixed the beanie and let my micros down over my ears for a classic Garnier experience. I guess it worked because my boss asked me if I re-did my micros; and a young Target worker told me I was ON. I said all that to say, when it comes to fashion, playing it safe is for suckas! Get out there and wear the unexpected (before the designers come up with it)!

Get It Together!

There are many times where I can really get beside myself and continue to complain and fuss about the things that aren’t going in my life and the things that I don’t have. I’ll even get caught up in my emotions of feeling sad, lonely etc. I’ll even pull the victim card once in awhile. But then I think….

Where does this get me?

Absolutely no where.

My mom always tells me when I start to have a bad attitude that I have a choice about how to feel. Either I can let it go and let God, or continue to hold on to my problems by myself because no one likes misery’s company. I know it’s sometimes hard to get through your emotions but sometimes you got to tell them to stop and start using your brain instead of your emotions to guide your decisions. And playing the victim role, I’m gonna be honest…I struggle with that. Every time I have a problem it’s not “woe is me”. I have to tell myself to literally “man-up” because some things are not worth the time and energy. You know the saying “a smile gets you further than a frown”? I’ve realized that it’s so true.

So don’t sweat the small stuff. If you have some issues going on, talk to the people you love…that’s why they are there. And if your feeling stressed and need some time alone check out Nikki’s Healthy Kisses for some Powerful Relaxation Techniques.

And most of all remember...

woo-sah! :)

To Put A Smile In Your Tuesday

I got this picture in an email last week and wanted to share the cuteness!

Recent photo of a little boy visiting the White House. He wanted to feel Obama's hair because he wanted to know if the President's hair felt just like his. Obama obliged. Priceless.

Monday, June 8, 2009

A Serious Case of the Mondays

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I can’t stand Mondays, especially after traveling for the weekend.

I will say that I had an awesome weekend in Chicago celebrating my friend’s 25th birthday. I did a little shopping A LOT of eating and a lot of drinking…can’t even front. Only thing that I came back to were trees falling from another bad storm that passed through…so bad that I saw a tree on top of a car...eek! No damage done to my house or car (thank God!)

But now that its time for a new week new posts! Of course they’ll be random as ever.

Lastly I want to say a huuuuuuuuugeeeeeeeeeeeeeee thanks and a heartfelt of gratitude because I had a surprise when I opened my blogger this morning…we have 14 followers!

I was so geeked I couldn’t stop smiling. To each 14 of you all and others that read the blog, you all keep me going, seriously. I was so close to shutting down this blog back in April. So you all get a round of applause, computer hugs and lots and lots more posts to come!

Friday, June 5, 2009

Diet? Huh?

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Okay I’m gonna be real my 4-Day Diet was more like 3. Yesterday I seriously fell off. Not only did I sleep in therefore I couldn’t work out in the morning but I didn’t work out in the afternoon because I was doing so many things after I got off work. But this is what my menu consisted of which was supposed to be mainly fruits and veggies.

Breakfast: Yogurt w/ blueberries, strawberries, almonds and granola

Snack: Drinking water

Lunch: Kale & 4 small slices of IMO’s pizza (the start of the downfall)

Snack: Celery sticks, one banana, one medium apple

Dinner: 4 chicken wings, 2 meatballs, tortilla chips/Doritos, rotel, pineapple, 2 glasses of wine

Late Night: Another 2 glasses of wine

Yeah dinner wasn’t really dinner it was the food served at a Pure Romance party I went to (which was off the chain! More about that later!). Then my friends and I decided to go out and we got the wine bottle poppin’.

I was planning to get up at 5 to run but see it as I went to be at 3:00am I knew that wouldn’t be such a good idea. Plus I can’t work out this afternoon or this weekend since I’ll be in Chi-Town. So pretty much from this whole experience I lost a pound…not bad in my book.

I’ll do better next week :)

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

4 Day Diet-Day 3

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So Day 3 is pretty much done and I did good for the most part the menu was the same from the first day but this is what I ate:

Breakfast-Yogurt with strawberries

Snack-I really didn't have one but I did drink berry flavored fiber with lemonade which was YUM!

Lunch-Spinach & Kale

Snack-Salad with veggies and blueberries & fat-free ranch dressing & banana

Dinner-Salad...i was supposed to have this shrimp stir-fry that my granny made but it turned out to be nasty so salad it was. Overall I'm feeling pretty good, slightly worn out from the workout which is why I'm going to sleep now.

I also drank LOTS of water which is why I think I'm so full. I worked out with my trainer for an hour which was a very intense hour! But he did weigh me and now I'm at 163.6 so a total of 0.8 pounds...hey it's better than nothing.

Until tomorrow!

Why Are You So Paranoid?

So I just checked out Kanye's new video "Paranoid" featuring Rihanna and I can't lie, I'm feeling it. I'm kinda missing Rih Rih on the music video scene, maybe it's just me wanting to see her somewhere other than paparazzi photos. Anyways, check it!

New Look..Yay? Nay?

So I definitely forgot to comment on the new title pic and color like? Well I do, and yes that is a picture of Megan Good. It's a pic from her photoshoot with GIANT mag which I thought was pretty hott (no homo of course lol). So I just feel in love with the color, they way the pic looked and the pose. You know I always gotta switch up something whether it's hair or the blog.

And I read a great quote on Facebook this morning that I wanted to share:

"Fear less, pray more, talk less, do more"

Funny how just a few words can have powerful meaning.

4 Day Diet-Day 2

So I was really proud of myself yesterday for the most part. The menu consisted of mainly veggies for the day, egg whites for breakfast and 3 servings of fruit and the vegetable juice from the cooked greens we were supposed to make.

Breakfast-Scrambled Eggs Whites w/Ketchup (don’t judge I can’t eat them without ketchup) and one medium apple

Snack-Celery Sticks (it was a lot of them too)

Lunch-Mixed green salad with broccoli, cauliflower, carrots and blueberries with fat-free ranch dressing

Snack-Asiago Cheese bagel with ½ reduced fat cream cheese (okay this was clearly not part of the plan but I couldn’t help it…I needed bread in my life and it was soooo good!)

Dinner-Spinach, Kale, Cauliflower and salad

So overall I ate pretty darn good. As far as workouts I got up at 5am to run around Forest Park (a pretty big park in STL) which was a total of about 25 minutes then I worked out with my trainer again that afternoon for about an 1 ½ hours.

Oh and I did weigh myself so I’m starting off at 164.2…we’ll see what it’s gonna look like Thursday or Friday morning.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

To Weave or Not To Weave

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I’m gonna admit that within my circle of friends I am the poster child for weave. I’ve gone as far as researching the type of hair I want, how I want it styled etc. Every time I get a weave to make sure I do the proper research so I would be satisfied with my results. And when I didn’t…well lets just say I had a tangled web of weave brushing it every 5 minutes (shudders at the thought again)

Living in STL I’ve seen some jacked up weaves and for some reason you can tell that their wearing them because their own hair is so jacked up. But then I think, is my hair gonna go down that path if I continue pushing for tracks. Now I’m definitely not a glue girl and refuse to do it unless it’s a special occasion and it’s only bangs (even then I hate it). The main reason I get weaves because I have OCD when it comes to my hair, it has to be different every few months whether weave or my own, I just get so bored.
But is there something more?

Am I deep into insecurity about wearing my own hair for a length of time? What’s interesting is that I don’t have a bad grade of hair. It’s thin but healthy and grows, so why do I keep doing this to myself?

I’m not sure. But I do know that at the moment, I have an itch for something new, whether it be my own or another weave. However it may be time for a rest.

But I ask myself why would I wanna wear my own hair when it’s about to be 80-100 degrees everyday?? The sweaty frizzy bang is not a good look.

What do you think about weave kabqueens? Should I weave again or not weave?

5 pounds in 4 Days??

About a month back I was listening to Dr. Ian Smith on the radio talking about his new book, “The 4-Day Diet”. The radio hostess said she had tried the diet and seen success. As he continued to talk about what’s involved it seemed like something I could try, so I got the book.

It didn’t take me too long to get through the part before the day-by-day plan. It was mostly about how you feel about yourself, your goals, eating habits etc. I had attempted a few weeks ago to start but just wasn’t feeling it.

So I started up yesterday and I wanted to keep ya’ll posted on my progress and mainly to see if this thing really works.

Day 1-6/1/09

The menu consisted of mostly veggies, salad, some type of bean, brown rice, at least four servings of fruit and powdered fiber to add to water or lemonade, plus 40 minutes of cardio

Breakfast: Yogurt w/ blueberries (for my serving of fruit)

Snack: Celery sticks & Banana

Lunch: Black beans and brown rice

Snack: Banana, a few almonds & one apple

Dinner: Salad with sprouts onion and tomatoes & 2 small pieces of cod

Now the almonds and cod were not part of the plan. I couldn’t resist the cod because my grandmother made it and it’s always SO good. Also I drank HELLA water. I mean I couldn’t count the number of times I went to el bano at work. I was supposed to do 40 minutes of cardio and I was going to get up at 5am to do it but…yeah my bed said no. I would have done it later but it was 95 degrees in STL yesterday and I probably would have died of heat stroke if I went running outside.

Oh and like a dummy I forgot to weigh myself on my Wii last night because I’m sure that info will be pertinent in this journey so I’ll have numbers for you later tonight.

So give you an update at the end of today to see how it went, but so far so good!

Monday, June 1, 2009

I Think I Love Her -- Gucci

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I'm sitting here in my room trying to figure out why I'm pursuing a relationship with someone that is guaranteed, not my husband. I'm young, so it's not as if I'm looking to settle down right now, but why do people choose the wrong answer when they know ahead of time that it's the wrong answer? I'm really attracted to this guy, that shall not be named, who I see from time to time. We're pretty exclusive, well, as far as I can tell (I'm not getting it in with anyone). The twist to this story is that I have a gut feeling about him that tells me daily to get out while I can, but it only makes me more and more addicted to dude. He is hott! Anyway, beyond the hotness, he doesn't do much for me. We talk, we hang out, but when it comes down to him taking the lead role/initiative to actually court this sista, he's pretty much insufficient. At this point in my life I'm used to being taken out to restaurants, movies, extracurriculars; I'm used to my guy coming to scoop me or send me flowers or vmail in the middle of the day telling me he was thinking about me. This dude, NOT EVEN. I like him because he is the perfect image of my "manly man", but I just don't want to get hung up on his pretty eyes, large pecs, and cute smile. I know what I should do, but I just can't seem to do it. Anyone feel me?