I used to L-O-V-E him

Lately I've been thinking about what my next steps in life will be. I always knew I wanted to be a doctor, maybe a counselor on the side, and fashion stylist for a little extra cake. But, as college draws to a close and these things become more real, I have come to the realization that I want more in life. The things I wanted are fine, but I want someone to share my experiences with. I'm tired of going through this long journey alone. I want a friend, beau, confidant, lover, boyfriend, hubby, companion. In battling this thought/feeling all of my goals have not been getting full attention: MAYDAY! I have resulted to guys that I know I have no future with, but are giving me the attention I want right now. Can I get a What What?! Um...don't follow this example it leads to emptiness and confusion.

Long story short, I started talking to one of my friends from way back (not a beau friend, and actual friend friend) and I knew he was not the one for me, but I didn't see any harm in just having him take me out (he is such the gentleman, why not?) One year later, I have feelings for him and I want him to be my man but he has priorities that precede me and so I always feel left out in the cold (not literally ladies, geez). I just want him to love me, right? Wrong! First off, if you know a man is not your husband from day one, stop trying to make him into your husband! Second, the areas that you two are not compatible in will never be compatible, so stop making big mountainous issues into molehills! And lastly, don't ever put a man before your dreams, whether he is someone you just have your eye on or he's your fiancee! You will so hate yourself for it later.

Luckily, I'm still pursuing my dreams and did not get too off track (thanks Lord). Instead of finding ways to communicate with him without actually calling his phone (I know yall know about this), how about redirecting that energy to something more useful like, I don't know, YOUR CAREER! God first, you second, man last = SUCCESS. Because lets face it, real men want what real women want: someone with a career, car, house, phone on, no kids, bills paid, and sexy-classy! Let's make sure that when a real man comes around he's not scared to fall in love bc he knows you're worth falling for. So, no longer will I be sidetracked by the spirit of "I used to love him", but I will tread ahead with the thought "I still love him, but I love me more!" (for my SATC fans, I believe Sam said this in the movie!)

The Things One Should Always Do...

I think i'm on a posting high...someone bring me down!! But here's some food for thought. Enjoy!

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Talk to God about what is going on in your life. Buy a lock if you have to.

3. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement,

My purpose is to __________ today. I am thankful for______________'

4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli , almonds & walnuts.

6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.


7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control.

Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

9. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

11. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

12. You are not so important that you have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

13. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.

14. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?' (And

17. Forgive everyone for everything.

18. What other people think of you is none of your business.

19. GOD heals everything - but you have to ask Him.

20. However good o r bad a situation is, it will change.

21. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch!

22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

23. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements:

I am thankful for __________. Today I accomplished _________.

24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

25. When you are feeling down, start listing your many blessings. you'll be smiling before you know it.



Any words of wisdom to share? Then please do! Be blessed :)

A Woman's Worth

Lately my friends and I have been discussing male/female relationships. How wack guys can be...how ho-ish girls can be and have even been reading posts about the topics from a facebook friend who writes some pretty insightful notes. So all these discussions led me to the thought of how do we truly value our self-worth?

This past Tuesday I was watching one of my addictions, "The Bad Girls Club". Two of the females were talking about being the best looking in their cities, how wherever they go they always attract men. I can't remember word for word what one of them said but she basically stated that she doesn't feel good unless a man tries to talk to her or compliments her.

Hold the pumps! Say what??

This girl only felt validation if she was the center of a man's attention. Have we come to this point as women? I sincerely hope not. I think it's safe to say all of us at one point have gone to the mall and picked out an outfit because you knew you wanted to catch someone’s eye. Whether you wanted to chi-chis to be out or for those pants to make your butt look a little bigger. We're all guilty of it but the point is not to get hung up on it. Compliments and attention are always nice and sure we always love to get them but do we really feed off that? Feed off you telling yourself you look "that freakin' good!" When people say confidence starts within its true.

Think about this...God created you. The same God who created the heavens and earth put his stamp on you. So why not love and cherish yourself? If our beauty was defined by men then shoot we'd all be ugly! Different men have different taste but does that need to matter to us. We know we got it going on and if the next guy doesn't see that than screw him! Not literally of course. God created you a little lower than his angels, therefore chica, you are worth so much more!

And if you start to feel a little down because that cutie didn't talk to you all night, remember this,

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.Psalm 139:13-15"

Have a kab day!

Step Away From The Vending Machine....

Since Miss Janelle got the ball rolling on health I thought to add more info to improve your daily eating habits.....

So, you’re sitting at your desk at work or maybe trying to stay awake in a class lecture but it hits us all...hunger pains! And as Americans we want the fastest way to relieve that which is usually found through snacks especially from the variety of a vending machine or the fast-paced drive-thru.

But ladies, take a step back before you open that bag of Doritos, inhale the Snickers bar or dip that chicken nugget and read a few tips on eating healthier at work to not only for your nutrition but to be more productive in the classroom and at the job.


1.) Cook for more than one!
-If you are a cooker (unlike me) whip up a big meal Sunday night with your favorites like chicken breast, steamed veggies or pasta. Freeze a certain amount of portions to grab in the morning when you’re heading out for work.

2.) Breakfast IS a meal of champions.
-Even though you may not have much of an appetite in the morning, still eat! Your bigger meal should be consumed early so it can be burned off while you’re active at work or running in and out of class. For the late sleepers grab some nuts and dried fruit, yogurt and a piece of fruit to eat on the way.

3.) Food on deck.
-If you’re still rockin' a boho bag then you definitely have enough room to carry healthier snacks with you. Try an orange or tangerine and a granola bar to curve that sudden hunger.

4.) Less is more.
-Our eyes are always bigger than our stomachs, so don't be fooled by getting large portions. Try half a sandwich with soup or salad.

5.) Stay hydrated.
-Its always good to have water with you whether a bottled water or a reusable thermo you can fill up at the water cooler or water fountain



Choose wisely and enjoy!







Source

The Truth About Diabetes

Well ladies, I have to get on your cases about something very important. Do you know your BMI (Body mass index)? If you don’t, you should. I know we don’t frequent the scales because we feel we just look too good to be concerned, but the truth of the matter is women with curves (yes, us) are more prone to obesity. Obesity is having a BMI of 30+. To calculate, I believe it’s your weight in kilograms divided by your height in inches. Follow closely because this might get a little intense: obesity causes 90% of all type 2 diabetes mellitus cases.

Diabetes is the rejection of insulin, which is necessary for transforming body cells into glucose (your energy source). 50% of Black and Hispanic women (yes, even you KabQueen) will develop type 2 diabetes mellitus in their lifetime. The scary part is it is affecting us a lot younger than in previous decades. There has been an extreme rise in obesity and diabetes cases in children and adolescents. And the scary truth is that though we are no longer children and some of us have not had the pleasure of having children at this time, children with diabetes grow up. If you’re not worried yet, let me not forget to mention that type 2 diabetes can be caught during any age of your life.

Though type 2 diabetes is both preventable and treatable (e.g., eating healthily and working out regularly), there is no cure. Look out for high blood pressure and cholesterol as signs of the disease. And if anyone in your family has diabetes, you should get checked because type 1 diabetes is hereditary. On a lighter note, let this serve as a wake up call to pay more attention to your health and body. Make your way over to a Weight Watchers meeting followed by a little WiiFit just to be on the safe side. And please get screened for the disease; better safe than sorry. (You can find further information at the American Diabetes Association)
laugh, LIVE, love,

JM

Lovely Lauren

While reading over at Young, Black and Fabulous there was a fabulous post on the premiere of Cadillac Records. While everyone looked stunning (esp. Miss Sasha Fierce) Lauren London caught my eye.

I've always been a fan since "ATL". Who couldn't remember this line..."I'm New New, cause I rock all the New New s*%t." And she definitely has...so fab and so kab!





Love her look? Check out some of these items and don't forget to watch Lauren Tuesday nights on "90210" on The CW.



Satin Bow Front Bandeau Dress $57.00



Madonna Tee $28.50


Ginn in Black Leather $79.99

Defy Faux Leather Jacket $32.80


ASOS Polka Jacquard Prom Dress $82.50

An Original In Her Own Right

The Missouri History Museum recently had an exhibit on the late and talented dancer Ms. Katherine Dunham. I didn’t know much about her other than small discussions that took place in my African American Studies classes but when I found out she grew up right across the river in East St. Louis, I wanted to know more.

Ms. Dunham had one of the most successful dance careers in American and European theater of the 20th century and has been called the Matriarch and Queen Mother of Black Dance.



Known as La Grande Katherine she was not only a dancer and choreographer but songwriter, educator and activist. She went against the cultural norms when she married Canadian-born designer John Thomas Pratt. He not only created her costumes but choreographer almost all of Katherine’s performances (can I get a boo like that??).


She continued to be influential in her and at the age of 82 went on a highly publicized 47-day hunger strike to protest what she condemned as the discriminatory US foreign policy against Haitian boat-people.


If that’s not a Kabuki Queen I don’t know what is.

Wanna know more? Katherine Dunham's Living Legacy

How Sweet It Is

And who said hot chocolate is just for drinking? Sephora’s philosophy has a fab gift set called Warm by the Fire which includes a Double Rich Hot Cocoa Shampoo, Shower Gel, & Bubble Bath; a Melting Marshmallow Cream Body Soufflé and a Ooey Gooey S'mores Flavored Lip Shine all for $25! Now that is a steal, stay sweet!



Warm By The Fire $25

Who is Sasha Fierce?

Today marks the release of Beyonce's third solo LP, "I Am....Sasha Fierce". As an avid Beyonce fan I am more than ecstatic for Ms. Knowles' new efforts. I've heard a few mixed reviews but overall I'm thinking it's a hit. I thought it was only fitting to take a look back at how her "fierceness" has come to evolve and bring a lil' Sasha in all of us. And most of all.....she's SUCH a Kabuki Queen!




I must admit I was always a fan of the 1st Destiny's Child...it just clicked. But Sasha was in the making....




The old Destiny was out with a few minor changes (i.e. kicking out a few members)....and a new Destiny was in. The fierceness was starting to fly of course courtesy of Mama Tina.




And the fierceness flopped at times...but hey, we've all been there. (Notice the crimped blond micros...eek!)





We can say B learned from her mistakes and started hittin' us with all kinds of fabulous.






Sasha Fierce has fully bloomed...so proud, so fab! (tear)

Homework For The Day:


Put some 'Sasha Fierce' in your day! Still got some classes left? Wear something to command the room (keep it classy of course). Rock the animal print leggings or try a new eye shadow. Going out for happy hour tonight? Bring out the stilettos and grab the flashy bag...channel your inner-Kabuki!

Women helping Women

Hey ladies,

It's been a long time, I shouldn'tve left you...without a deep thought to think through (thanks for the dope beat Tim, lol). Lately I've been pondering, which I often do, about the downfall of the world and the opportunities lost because of selfishness. I wonder what would happen if one woman became president of the United States of America...would she put a system in place that would allow other women to grab hold of the blueprint (cheetah-print is a little more stylish) and make such a thing commonplace? Why is it that women seem to be only looking out for themselves? Is it a crime to help a young sister out when she needs a boost?

I have been thinking on what I will do with my future and came across a program that is designed to help young Afro-American aspiring doctors become just that...but there's a twist: those that come through the program serve as the mentors for those coming up behind them in the same program. It doesn't stop there! Those actually in the program are required to mentor college students who are looking to get into such a program; the college students do the same with the hs students, and those to the grade school kids; so that everyone is being helped/prepared for what they will yet achieve one day. Can you imagine if women just did this without a program in place? What would the world be like? Wouldn't we be ultimately taking over!

Women are the majority, so why is not our voice louder, bolder, stronger...heard? What are we doing to make a better life for ourselves and for the next generation of women? Therefore I ask you, "Are you doing your part?" If not, why not? An even better question, "When?"

Yes We Did!

America showed up and showed out! We exercised our right to vote and we let our voices be heard. The fight our ancestors fought was not in vain, the blood, sweat and tears to get to this day were not in vain and the dream the Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. has become our reality. This is history occurring right before our eyes...isn't it grand? Although I would have loved to be in Chicago I know fellow blogger Aramide (thesassypeach.blogspot.com) was there and definitely felt the movement! The only thing I have to say is...



Barack Obama is the elected President of the United States.


SO RICH!!!


P.S. Don't you just heart the love Barack and Michelle have? I know I do!

Fight For Your Right

I'm almost positive that everyone is ready for a change, and tomorrow you get to be apart of it. Ladies, other women suffered so you could have the right to vote, so do it! No ifs, ands or buts. Don't let impatience from long lines keep you from doing your part as an American.

So in the words of my pastor yesterday morning:

"I can't tell you who to vote for. But I can tell you that...YES WE CAN!"

Blaque Holiday

Hey ladies,

Word on the streets is that blaque is so IT for this weekend! And since its Hallelujah/ween weekend, its more than appropriate to throw your favorite headdress in the mix: a la feathers! I’m all about the “flapper look” if you feel me! All blaque, sleek corset dress with elbow-length black leather gloves and a featheresque headdress! If you’re smelling your roses a little bit add thigh-high boots and a lace hand fan, old-fashioned style.

If you’re not hitting up the closest costume party, make sure to show your face at the fashion show of the year:

“The Jungle”
501 E. 170th Street
South Holland, IL.

Yeah, I know it’s in the burbs, but allow this to kick off the start of a great evening! It’s a classy event, featuring styles by a local artist looking to carve her spot in the fashion world. Support our young, black entrepreneurs. Doors open at 7pm on Saturday night.

Also, if you’re looking to get a little silly try “bar crawling” on for size…for those that are new to the game: bar crawling = bar hopping to all the bars on the street and usually all of them have specials. Get with it or get lost! Oh, and to all my single ladies, “If he like it then he SHOULD put a ring on it”

Nel

P.S. Don't forget to set your clocks back Saturday night to get that extra hour of beauty rest.

Kabuki Queen

Right about now your asking…”Kabuki? And that is what?”

Kabuki is a form of traditional Japanese theater known for the stylization of its drama and for the elaborate makeup worn by the performers. The word kabuki is believed to derive from the verb kabuku, meaning "to lean" or "to be out of the ordinary".

Translation

A stylish, one of a kind queen.


And with that, let this blog be the source you need, to be the Kabuki Queen that you are. Whether it’s vamping the drobe (wardrobe that is), outfit ideas for weekend shindigs, giving props to other Kabuki Queens, or keeping you in the know in the now, this is all you need to be the queen indeed.

Sincerely,

The Original KQs

Janelle, Erica & Janolby

PS There is a nail laquer by OPI called “You’re Such a Kabuki Queen!” Get it!

And to get it rolling, we must give props to an one of the orginals KQ's, Miss Dorothy Dandridge

Kabqueens

Coming Soon!