Let it Go, Let it Go...

I am so close to making this blog into a sisters empowering sisters type joint. I am fed up with hearing stories of women selling themselves short and settling for much less than they deserve. The culprit: self-hate. I promise I will go back to fashion after this post, but this needs to be said. I refuse to scold you all because low self-esteem is not everyone's issue; however, I will let you into a little of my story in hopes that someone will find solace in knowing they are not alone.

Listen, we all want to believe that we are the reason a man will just wake up and want to be a better man, but the reality is that what you see is ultimately what you will get. He may grow up as he ages, but as my good friend likes to say, "We will only become the best of who we are," translation: we will never be so different that we are no longer ourselves. You cannot will yourself to be someone else (since when has that ever been successful for anyone?). You will always be you. And the sooner you learn to be content with that fact and change the things about you that you can and leave the rest, the better off you will be.

Men like confident women. I don't care what you have seen and what you have heard. All the bs about men liking submissive women without a voice is just that, bs. Men like a challenge; they do not like passive women who will just roll over and play dead. Granted, they are annoyed by women who are never satisfied, i.e. "have an attitude", but who isn't? You have to come to a place in you where you deal with your dissatisfaction with life in the confinements of your own home. Everyone has it rough out here, so no one will have sympathy for your sob story because we are all struggling. So, whatever it is that you are dealing with that makes you seem attitudinal to most, you either need to sit this one out and stay in the house to pout, or put on "face" and leave that drama locked up in your room.

Now, I said I would share a little about myself here, but really I will just mention that in doing some soul searching as I spend time away from the states - my comfort zone - I have found the patterns in my dating life that are truly alarming. I have dated nice guys, and not just any ol nice guys but men I would have actually married. The problem was that I did not have any standards set for the type of guy that I would settle down with. And I did not stay single long enough to trust God to bring me the man He had for me. I found myself in "comfortable" situations that did not challenge me to grow as a person or in my relationship with God. I settled on these guys because I found security there; they were safe, they were void fillers until the next best thing came along. They were idols in my life. And even as I type this know that I still struggle in this area. However, I am learning that God cares about me enough to not make the mistake of marrying the wrong person; His grace has let me only go so far until He reels me back in, bringing me back to the place where He shows me that He is more than enough.

Trust Him one more time and leave the guy you have built your life around because when you look up, you'll realize that the person you once judged (e.g., the live-in girlfriend), is the person you have become. And marriage is no longer an option. Hear me when I say, "You are not the exception." Set your standard and stick to it so that guys will have no problem respecting it. Do not be wishy-washy in your stance because it only causes confusion and creates opportunity for your partner to take advantage of your inconsistency. I love you all and do not want to see anyone else fail in this thing called love. Learn to love you so when you go out in the streets, people will be attracted to you for that reason alone.
Sincerely,

Your Fellow Single Sister Nel

Springy

I won't say much other than greetings from Malaysia! I'll let the clothes speak for themselves...too excited for spring (the best season of all)...with influences from 3 different cultures: American, Malaysian, and Chinese! From the runway to the street, there is something for us all :)

Bringing in the NY right! #TeaTime

I know I haven't really been writing about fashion lately, but I am in such a different and exciting season of life that I feel the need to put on paper. I am going to be transparent for a second and show utter appreciation for the women in my life. I was anxious about coming home to Chicago for break because I always feel so far removed from the lives of everyone I left here when I went away to school, but today just proved that I am still very much a part of my girlfriends' lives. Many people tend to hang onto relationships with the opposite sex because of the need to not feel loneliness; I know I have been struggling with that for a little bit now. But the lesson that I learned today is that God gives us friends/sisters/cousins to talk to, to have tea with, to cry, laugh, joke, smile, commune with; like the motto of Cotton: "they are the fabrics of our lives!" I truly appreciate each and every one that participated in making me smile today; thank you for showing me that I am enough - all by myself! Thank you Stacy, Shonda, Rio, Janolby, Lauren, Nicole, Nitchka; you all are valued as gems in my life and I am ever grateful - easily the luckiest girl around ;)

Dwayne Coleman - Zion

change.

i have everything and nothing to say at the same time! i came to a place that usually arrives after an epiphany or a good "talking to", but this actually came to mind randomly a little while ago. the only one to determine your fate is you. if you don't like the way you have gained weight over the holidays (that aren't even here yet), lose it. if you are beating yourself up about liking someone you shouldn't, either stop liking them or talk to them about it (they may actually like you back). if you are physically tired all the time, go to bed, eat your fruits and veggies, and get a daily workout in. if you want money, work. anything you want to do, you can. everything takes an initial making up of your mind and the will to do, but after that part, just start. if you fail, you have the basis for not continuing, but if you never start you'll always wonder, and that is so much worse! the root of all of these thoughts not backed by actions are fear, which is my biggest nemesis. as i go on this journey to defeat it once and for all, i'll leave you with this word that i have come back to time and time again:

25 "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:25, 34

Untitled

I have written this post in my head so many times over the last few weeks, but nothing felt noteworthy enough. I think it is because it is such a vulnerable position from which to come. Transparency is not my strong suit, though I feel like my life has been broadcasted because of the accessibility of social media these days. Where do I begin...hmm. Very often I feel like I do not offer much to the world, that I am not different enough, not good enough in one particular thing or another and that I will just fade to the background as simply a memory for one. My reality battles my destiny in my mind on almost a daily basis. Knowing that God says otherwise for my life and sees me with different eyes, I am crazy enough to somewhat believe that He will get His glory and His purposes will be fulfilled. Now, does that mean that my name will flash across a television screen or my face will be in the latest fashion magazine, or even that I will be recognized for my impact on the world after death...absolutely not, which therein lies the struggle. Something inside me wants to be recognized and remembered throughout this lifetime and into my death. How hard is it to do that, though? It is not like you can readily have conversations with the people that changed the world so let me encourage you to be that person; step your "cookies" up and grind towards the top. When you get there don't forget the feeling you felt, reach out to the next generation "YOU" and be a help...

That moment when you feel like your life is so minute in the grand scheme of things and it doesn't really matter what you do, remember that His plan is good and promises your success. Hang onto hope, you'll get there, and don't forget to let your hair down, spend time alone, and laugh once a day...Dr.'s orders ;)

Getting to Know Me

As of recently, I have been shown my purpose in life. I am learning to surrender to a Power higher than my own, a voice wiser than mine, and a Being far greater. There are several road bumps that have come up that I have learned to address and move on without stressing or worrying about them. I have cooked, cleaned, traveled, shopped, exercised, socialized, and meditated to come to a place of inner peace. But what I find rest in is the fact that Someone mightier than I is in control of my life and knows exactly where I am at all times and even where I am headed. Not only where I am headed, but that it is 'good.'

I am sought after, favored, adored. I have been beautifully crafted and artistically handmade. I look in the mirror and do not see what my Maker sees, and until now, have not appreciated my reflection. But every once in a while I remember that I am one-of-a-kind and Someone else knows it! With that said, I like what I see. It makes me, me! So let this be an encouragement to you...take a second look :)

2Faced

Bom Dia Lindas,

Sending greetings from the beautiful country of Brasil, here with a few things on my mind: 1. Dressing more professionally (adult-like), 2. JEANS.

When I arrived back into the states a few days ago I decided that I wanted to upgrade my wardrobe to be more fitting to the professional individual that I am. Thus, naturally, I went thrifting out in Costa Mesa (e.g., Crossroads) to discover a whole new world of professionalism that I had been missing. One thing that I learned in changing my closet so frequently is to be you inside the 'new look' you are going for. Even though I have decided on button-ups, skirts, and blazers instead of jeans, shorts, and maxi dresses, I have maintained the flavor and spunk indicative of my creative mind, i.e. colorful crop pants, sheer-animal print tops, etc.

Shifting gears, I am pleased to announce my upcoming shoot, JEAN, which plays around with the idea of jean patterns and a splash of sunshine. Stay tuned for pictures to follow!

I will leave you with one last thing, "Be Great Today and Everyday."
Sincerely,

The KQ

New Addition before Brasil

It finally hit me that 'Suits' make me look more distinguished, thus, my closet will be experiencing some extreme renovations quite soon. Here's to Day 1 #suit&tie

 

 

Oh the Joy of the Thrift

Recently I was asked how I got into thrifting and where a beginner would start, so I did some asking around and "friending" on Facebook to get a full list of shops out here in California. The joy of moving from one big city to another is discovering new stores! I used to shop clearance racks at stores such as Target and JCPenney, but since my move I have found myself on the racks of Forever and H&M...Target has been hit or miss out here. But once you start getting familiar with the entire clearance section in a place, it is time to move on.

Therefore, I went thrifting for the first time a year ago in Newport and found the absolute best place to shop: Crossroads! On this trip I also went to Buffalo Exchange and Plato's Closet of which I was not very much impressed. But since then, from that day to this, I have discovered another couple of gems, i.e. Eco Thrift and the Disabled Veterans Salvation Army in San Bernardino. I typically pick Goodwill over Salvation Army, but this one was very clean and organized with some cultural pieces in the mix for some added spice.

So there you have it, the art of thrifting takes time to develop (and is based on your patience level and your preference)...My top 3 out here on the "left coast" are: 1. Crossroads in Newport, 2. Disabled Veterans Salvation Army in San B, 3. Goodwill in Redlands

P.S. Sidewalk sales are also fun finds and utilizing young designers and stylists on social media networks have also uncovered interesting pieces; one-of-a-kind, for sure! Feel free to share your experiences :)

Brazil Amazon River Project 2013 - Home

Contribute to a grand cause and tell a friend, please and thanks! Brazil Amazon River Project 2013 - Home

"Break Every Chain" Tasha Cobbs, First Baptist Church of Glenarden

What's in YOUR Closet

So as my shape begins to change right alongside my years, I've done some research on what exactly "dressing my age" actually looks like...Doing a little internet search revealed that I am a 'pear-shaped' body type and pear-shaped bodies work best with empire and/or high waist items. I am pretty familiar with the terms, but wanted a visual, so I found a couple visual aids :)

 
Additionally, some wise fashion person, ahem...Nina Garcia, suggests that every girl (regardless of body type) have an A-line dress, LBD, and LWD in her repertoire. I've added those too for your visual pleasure. Looks like I need to hit the stores like now! Let's be the people that bring positive attention to ourselves by dressing age appropriate with clothes that fit our body type and bright personality...

What is in your closet?!

It's.Official.

My first official photoshoot! Utilize Pink Sunflower for all your fashion needs!

 

 

Thank You for Your favor Lord! Living my dreams :)

Proverbs 31 Woman

Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character

^10 [b]A wife of noble character who can find?
    She is worth far more than rubies.
¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her
    and lacks nothing of value.
¹² She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life.
¹³ She selects wool and flax
    and works with eager hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
    bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night;
    she provides food for her family
    and portions for her female servants.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
    out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
    her arms are strong for her tasks.
¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
    and her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff
    and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor
    and extends her hands to the needy.
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
    for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
²² She makes coverings for her bed;
    she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate,
    where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
    and supplies the merchants with sashes.
²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
    she can laugh at the days to come.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things,
    but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done,
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Style Work

I Give You Spring...Upon Request

Birthday Bashin'

Greetings from the sunny state of California! Love and treats, my friends...so happy to be back on this side of the blog :)

I decided that this year's birthday celebration would involve my artistry in the world of fashion styling (it's been so long), so I hired an aspiring photographer, very dear to my heart, to collaborate with me on this long awaited project! I have several shots and dozens of memories, but I'll leave you with one.

So proud to be back on the horse; it felt good! I was a little rusty, but it goes to show that anything you put your mind to will come to pass with a little elbow grease! #ENJOY

So, I know I've been neglecting the page...I will do better. I have really lost passion for clothes the last few days and am looking to revamp my style, yet again! Not quite sure what the Lord will inspire, but I hope to bring some freshness to you all really soon.

In other news, I want to take this time to s/o JC for doing big things in my life today. I had a rough Sunday night with one of my homeboys I am interested in and things ended weird and awkwardly so that there is really no way to salvage what we had...was there really anything there in the first place (who knows)? I spent a majority of my night yesterday just dogging the male species because of this incident, leaving me bitter and irrational. I am glad to say that though today was a hard day and my attention was totally averted, the good God Almighty showed me that all men are not dogs, even if they appear to be initially.

After receiving a nice surprise visit from an unexpected friend, totally throwing me off my new normal, I was knocked back in the opposite direction away from self-pity and towards positivity. Thank You Lord for even the smallest rays of sunshine that brighten up a dark night :)

Oh Joy!

Oh the joys and disappointments of life.

I want to start by saying how truly humbled and filled with joy I am by those that have encouraged me to keep writing: you are my heart!

Next, I want to unload some thoughts...every year for as long as I can remember, I have not had a Valentine. We used to get the cute little cut out cards with 'messaged hearts' to put in our Kleenex boxes in elementary school; candygrams in high school; singing grams in college, but I can honestly say I don't remember getting one from anyone special signifying my specialness in someone else's life. So this year, I asked my roommate to be my Valentine and we began to plan what we would do for the special day. Her flowers and candy came on Wednesday; my candied apple and chocolate covered fortune cookies came on V-Day, and we got all gussied up and went to lunch at a new place followed by froyo on Friday. Beyond our beautiful date I received various cards, candies, a cooked meal, fondue, 2 sets of flowers, several texts, and a very special phone call :) When my guy friend, that I secretly have a crush on, asked me how my holiday was, I could honestly answer that it was full of love and the absolute best one I had ever had! Those who wanted to be there, were there, and that made the difference.

The following day I ended up down in SD with my second love, mi hermana, and we went to Oceanside on the dock for dinner with a friend. Sunday continued in the same spirit: church (amazingly on time word), lunch at Phil's (best BBQ ever), shopping (spent less than $20), dinner back in LLU with good friends, and late night snacking. I woke up saying to myself, "Oh, what a night," though, it was really more like "What a weekend!" When I actually got out of bed, I had so much waiting for me: cleaning, organizing, and embarrassment as I relived and relayed the details of last night's events to my roommate. But, through it all I have learned to regret nothing, learn...and once learned, make a difference in someone else's 'aha' moment. Be blessed and productive today my loves!