Raw

Raw...bare.naked.stripped.demasked. All adjectives that define me at this particular point. How easy it is to go through the process of adorning, masking, robing, even smiling without being in touch with your true reality that is you in that exact instance. For me, it took my moving to a foreign place with unfamiliar people, cultures, and practices where I was left to survive (or totally rely on God); sink or swim. And even in my story of victory and triumph, I still feel incomplete, broken, and empty from time to time. Life is meant for seasons (Ecclesiastes 3), but in this one the wind is completely taking over.

I could take you through the details of my thoughts on a minute-to-minute basis that include my struggle with desiring the man of my dreams and making the ones in my life fit into that mold, praying his safety and sanity in my world of crazy; or the thoughts and prayers (anguished cry) for my beautiful grandmother that I am absolutely and completely worried about almost daily; or the lack of motivation I have for school every other day, knowing in my heart I should be doing something else, but trying to wait on God's timing (or maybe I'm just scared to fail or even worse, procrastinating); or what I'll wear and eat for the day (Matthew 6:25-34), which workout I'll attend; midterms (to study or not). Everyday is a constant struggle for sanity, and to think that someone out here has it even worse...unbearable!

(But who ever found solace in knowing someone else was worse off, NO! We always want the spotlight; we want our problems to be the biggest and the only so the attention and focus is on us. So yes, I know there are others out there in bad shape, but for now, let's table that discussion.)

What's a girl to do? Continue going through the motions of living until reaching the end of my days and realizing I totally missed out on what was important in life, while chasing after something that left me insatiated? I think not! But what? How do I get up from here and move into a season of newness, refreshing, and joy?

Dear God, I'm here bearing my soul and desperately need some type of quenching. I am exhausted, frustrated, and upset. Please resurrect the life in me so that I can make it through this next moment. Take care of all the concerns I have and replace them with the peace you promised Your child. In Jesus' name I pray, amen!

Beauty is HER name

So, I just realized the best way to study...or should I say, the best way I study: open book/notes, highlighter - skim through all the items I am already proficient in and when I get to something that takes a little more thought, listen to some music (preferably love songs), do some baking, and browse all my social networks. Oh yeah, then come back to my studies with music playing ever so lightly in the background (after a nicely prepared meal and dessert).

Study Material: Food Science
Dessert: Quince-Apple Crisp
Trending Songs: Beauty (Dru Hill), Never Too Much (Luther), Fistful of Tears (Maxwell), Spanish Guitar (Toni Braxton), The Truth (India.Arie) - Check out my Spotify ;)

From Grey to Sunflower

I woke up this morning (as dark as it was) with the right heart attitude; a complete 180 of yesterday's demeanor. I woke up motivated, finally! It just goes to show that you determine your mood and that mood determines the remainder of the day.

I got dressed this morning and threw on some red lips with my red, suede VANS (that look like Keds, but whatev) and walked out the door for class. I will spare you the small details of mini miracles that happened between then and now and get right to the brightness in my day...I planted sunflowers this morning!

The significance to my excitement is that I recently fell in love with the flower and wanted to decorate my room with them everywhere, but my roommate was not having it. So I dreamt up this crazy idea that the man of my dreams would send me some (instead of roses) one day and by default they would become the theme in our home. I'm still waiting...

Anyway, I took the problem into my own hands and solved it. Now I will have my own crop of sunflowers for the season and the next few years to come. What have you created lately ;)

Shades of Grey

I've been feeling really random lately. Just realized I have been dressing the part as well. Grey has been my shade of choice this week, which is totally and utterly gloomy (completely matching my unmotivated mood). So, like my good friend told me, I'm "shaking out of it!" I realized that lacking motivation cannot be fixed until I know what motivates me.

Since I'm not in a philosophical mood presently, I turned to my quick fix...clothes!

In my gloomy state I realize how absolutely fabulous I still have to be when leaving the house in the morning. Thus, though I'm wearing grey, I don't have to look down. So, in the words of my unforgettable friend-who-bought-me-a-drink-in-sd-because-she-was-totally-drunk, "Don't be frumpy!" I am choosing right now not to let this mood ruin my fabulousness :)

good day mates!

Black Mourning

The good thing about blogs is that regardless of what category it fits in, you, the blogger, are still able to write about whatever you absolutely want to. With that being said, I am choosing to use it today as my saving grace/sanity.

For the past few weeks I have been feeling so unmotivated and down. Totally uncharacteristic of me, but I've been wearing black lately and that is freaking me out (especially since my colors are often reflectant of my mood). So, what does a girl like me do in such an instance? Well the stylist in me was inspired to find fashionable looks in my "new color." Squeeze those lemons into lemonade (pink, if you're anything like me)!

 

Was Kanye Right?

As I write this post I'm wondering if Kanye was on to something when he said, and I loosely quote, "If I talk about God my record won't get played." Just a thought as I pen this post tonight. Either way I got some things that just need to be said:

During such a difficult time I wondered where my motivation and will for life went. After having a short read in the Good Book, I soon realized what I was missing and why. God is the piece (and peace) to my puzzle; the reason I live, the purpose for my being. Therefore, without Him I would have continued down the long road to unfulfillment and despair. Thank the Lord the story did not end there!

So, even though this blog is meant to promote fashion and style, I am realizing that one can really never be whole without all aspects in proper balance and order. Food for thought, get some! www.biblegateway.com

Bring Back the 90s!

A friend asked me to help style her for this year's 90s party, which got me reflecting back on the good ol days!

Movies I adore, i.e. Clueless, Boomerang, BAPS, House Party

Shows I loved: Fresh Prince, Saved by the Bell, All That, Sister Sister

Styles that must make a comeback (or not), i.e. overalls, square hats, harem pants, printed cardigans and shoulder padded jackets

Girl and Boy groups such as TLC, Kid n Play, BSB, N'Sync, the homie Aaliyah (in a category all by herself).

 

 Aah, the 90s! Where do I begin? Curious to know what looks you'd like to bring back?